I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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