when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
