There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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