i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
