I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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