I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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