That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
