Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Pooping to opera.
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