Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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