Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
