You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
