Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
