"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize