There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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