I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
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