I'm gonna have a badass scar
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
