I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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