You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
