that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
