UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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