You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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