that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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