The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
