Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
