proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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