so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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