How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm at about main and main street
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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