So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
