just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
