Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize