Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
