hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
