I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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