You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
