You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
