I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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