I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
