Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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