i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Come on in and take your pants off
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