My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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