is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
