You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
