The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
