i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
