This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm sobbing to NWA
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
