And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
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