are you still at the devil's house?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
