Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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