i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
