fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
