At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
