so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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