he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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