i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I would fuck him just for his dog
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
