I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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