And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
