Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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