im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
